The Mile Hi ! -What a great way to Fly!

Hi, just back from Sydney, Australia. Stayed with my son at Rhodes for ten days. Had a wonderful time and would like to share a little experience about the trip.

What a great way to fly
High up in the sky
In an A Three Eighty
We were on our way to Sydney.

The take off was so smooth
As if the plane hadn’t moved
Once up in the air
There wasn’t a thing to care.

Stewardesses in their figure-hugging sarong kebayas
(Secretly being admired by some flying “buayas”)
Gliding along the aisle gracefully
Exchanging greetings and smiling politely.

Settling down comfortably one mile up
Enjoying my book “The Mile Hi! Club”
With a glass of red wine
Everything was smooth and fine.

The weather was beautiful
Bright, dry and cool
A visit to the Paddy’s Market was very interesting
Be prepared for some bargaining.

Be awed by the magnificent Blue Mountains
Sitting on a 4Wheel drive manoeuvring the gigantic sand dunes with twists and turns
Did some thrilling sandboarding
Went dolphin watching!

What a fantastic holiday we had!
But it is always great to be back.

Teo Y C & wife

Spooked

It was my first trip to a neighbouring city. That was years ago. The good company put me up at a hip and happening hotel. They told me the pub belonging to a famous international chain is a must try. I fell for it and booked myself a room. But the hotel was rather old and badly in need of a fresh coat of paint, I must say.

How old?

The wooden door to the bathroom was rotted due to dampness at the bottom.? The toilet paper holder came right off the wall when you rolled it for a few sheets.? The resident cockroach was aroused from its slumber in the wash basin when I turned on the tap.

You get the idea.? Hit the sack after a late night’s drink sessions with the boys. Was instantly out the moment the head hit the pillow.? It was 3am when it happened.

Half conscious and drowsy from sleep, I thought I heard voices in my room.? Couldn’t be. Must be occupants in the adjoining rooms having some naughty moments. I told myself.

But the voices were distinctly from INSIDE the room. Not the muffled ones from across the walls.? Clearly 2 persons were chatting in a soft whisper at the foot of my bed.? I could almost feel them sitting on the bed itself.

Hairs were standing on end already. The poor heart was draining blood faster than the Niagara. Cold sweaty beads were forming despite the cold airconditioning.

Time for fight or flight. No time to be a hero, it was more the latter that I was opting for. What else am I expected to do?? I spied open 1 eye a crack.

Without my glasses, I could barely make out that the room was bathed in a shimmering blue hue. Once forming, once ebbing. Alternating like the tide. It was both beautiful and scary. Surely the lights in the room don’t cast such a light show. Was I dead already?

All this while the voices were still whispering to each other. Perhaps plotting what to dispose of me.? Shit. This cannot be. It cannot be happening to me. I have not done bad things in my life (yet).?? I willed the other eye open.

The voices took that moment to stop. They must have noticed that I was awake. Holy shit.

The blue hue turned into a kelaidescope of colours.

That’s it. I have had enough. I grabbed my glasses and bolted out of bed. Ready for anything. Human or otherwise.

Then it struck me! I had left the bloody TV ON and forgot to turn it off.? A talk show was on and there was a break for a commercial.? And there I was in my birthday suit, fights clenched, white as a ghost. If indeed there was 1 in my room that night, it would have bolted instead of me.

What a frightful sight I must have been. What a silly sight. how hilarious. How idiotic. How dumb.?? So what’s the story you might ask?

Stop scaring yourselves.

ps. this story did happened as penned. No shit.

Patrick,The PacMan

The ?Kiamsiap? (stingy) Traveller

Glancing nervously up and down the aisle, she picked up the shiny piece of silverware and with a shadowless hand movement, she deftly dropped it into her big brown tote bag with an air of casualness.? It is a cat and mouse game as she sneaks peeks along the aisle for any neatly coiffed stewardess coming by.? Her rationale is simple. “I paid for the tickets what so must make the price worth! Afterall, for such a world class airline, losing one or two spoons will hardly be noticeable to them.”

I have been quietly observing this quirky passenger for a while. Just minutes before the flight, at the departure immigration counter, her small beady eyes were transfixed on the bowl of multi-flavoured Fox sweets placed on the counter. Without wanting to draw attention to what she was about to do, she tried to make small talk with the immigration officer and at the same time selecting the flavours that she liked.

After a while, she decided that all the flavours were truly to her liking so she grabbed fistfuls of the sweets and shoved them down her bag.? I guess big bags like hers will come in handy when swipping fistfuls of candies or spoons from the plane. I was wondering who would be the lucky chap to share a seat with her when I realised I hit the jackpot.? During the flight, she appeared chatty and initiated conversations with passengers seated around her. I stole a peek at her bag while she was making her fifth trip to the claustrophobic toilet in the five-hour long flight and realised that there were many squarish blue plastic bags of sanitary napkins in her bag. I thought she was either suffering from month long periods or experiencing incontinence. But her reply was that since it’s free, take and take some to give to her daughter!

Good golly! Some people really go to great lengths to make sure they get their money’s worth.

Serene Wan [aprilshowers184@yahoo.com.sg]

Miss,what’s this on my seat ?!

On my flight to Bali , i noticed my seat & seat belt were stained with some sticky stuff & had the stench of vomit, yuck!!! I immediately informed a crew & asked her if she had anything which i could use to wipe it off & maybe some disinfectants too. After checking out my seat, her facial expression was just priceless, she opened her mouth so big like a big “O”, & gave me that very sympathetic look.

Then she said she was sorry she couldn’t find me another seat as it was a full flight but she would get me something to clean it. I waited & waited but she never came back. In the end , I had to use up a pack of my wet wipes and sprayed my perfume on the seat & seat belt to get rid of the overwhelming smell, of course, with some cursing & swearing, haha. It was our national carrier, if you want to know, and that crew should thank her lucky star as i was never a complain queen, i just swallowed my “sorrow” & let the matter rest.

I was also very puzzled why the cleaners had overlooked this, at least it looked like a baby’s throw up , my friend once told me that she sat on a slightly wet chair which smelt like urine, so gross . . .

Cheryl Lim